My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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