I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
