Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
