yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
