we have officially lost it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
