mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
oh god was she eating orange peels again
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
