I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
