If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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