Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
