have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
