So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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