who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
