She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize