I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
