Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
