it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
