I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
