Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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