You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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