i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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