No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
