votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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