is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
