Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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