It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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