We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
