I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
