everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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