This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she smelled like a LAN party
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
