You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
