He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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