There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
