My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
