i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
