I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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