I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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