Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
