if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
