Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
