my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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