The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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