I'm going to rape someone's good day.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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