I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
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