So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
