he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
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Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
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