Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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