she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
mondays should just be called national damage control day
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
