what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
