talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
