Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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