Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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