If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
