dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
