I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we made out on top of his cat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
