You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
