doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
