Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
