sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
