i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize