I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
