I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
