to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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