Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize