I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize